But, how to put in writing something that takes shape inside of you, that emerges from, and forms out of a series of emotions and experiences on which you cannot put your finger, really.
I am most definitely not where I thought I'd be by now. I imagined my life different. Or maybe not. I imagined it like this but I thought I'd like it, and I found out I really don't.
So many things I've shed, because of that. Things that I had piled up on me so much that I had forgotten that down deep under those things there was a person. I think that person is still alive. Maybe not quite kicking, but it will get there, sooner or later.
In the meantime I've found that I like this new old me. That I couldn't care less what other people think of me and of how I should be. That I have a peace I didn't have when I was doing the right and expected things. That I love my kids more. That I am free of impositions.
I also found others walking down the same street with me.
Some have been long time companions, some are surprising recent encounters. And still it feels like they were always walking by me. Love it!
Well, I'd better stop rambling...
I had been thinking about resuming blogging and just didn't want to postpone one more time. That is why I just posted an old draft (inspired by what, I don't know) and decided to write a couple of non-sensical lines just because.
nat
(I think it's also because my surprising recent encounter asked me today what I like to do.. I had to think about it.. and I remembered I do like to write, and to write on my blog.. so, there you go)